poetry eh?

Writing poetry or writing about poetry? I am going to have to guess most people would say creating poetry is more fun and more interesting than writing about published poetry. I would tend to agree with them.

It is a pretty close race in my mind but I have good reasons for liking to write than to write about, mostly the creativity. When you write about poetry it seems like you are just writing about someone else's ideas. You can make new ideas about what a poem means but you are never really sure it is true or not because really the only true authority of meaning is the author them self and most of the time they aren't talking for one reason or another. At least this is my belief. When you create yourself, on the other hand, you can make it mean whatever you want. Ironic, mean spirited, happy, sad, whatever; it is you and nothing else. Creation is also much more satisfying than regurgitation.

The one advantage to writing about is that it is safe. You write what you think something means and if you are wrong, oh well, I misinterpreted but it isn't a big deal because sometimes it is trial and error. You may not be familiar with some of the experience the poem contains in its ideas and you could hardly be accountable for something like that, at least in the context of being a student in a classroom. But when you create a poem you are putting yourself out there for everyone to see. People are basically getting a flash of your soul and that can be scary. The anxiety of not being good enough or interesting enough creates a lot of pressure as well. You can find meaning in someone else's work if you look long enough and in the right places, but your creativity is all you and only you.

In the end for me the satisfaction outweighs the anxiety just enough for me to put myself out there for all to see.

Who am I

My name is Ryan and I am currently a student at California State University Northridge and I am in my final semester before receiving my Bachelors degree in English. There is not really much to say about myself. I get average grades (mostly B's) and plan to become a High School teacher (English of course) and work at the school I graduated from. I plan to eventually get a Masters degree and if I am not fed up with going to school as well as working in one I will get a Doctorate. When I have the doctorate I will decided if I want to continue teaching High School or move up to the University level.

I do not have many fears about being a teacher, beyond the usual ones. I just really hope to get the occasional student that is interested in what I say and takes something positive away from my class. That and I could probably go my whole life without being sued and come out happy.

Being a teacher was a second choice once I graduated High School. I originally went to CSUS to become a chemist but gave up when I failed the first year of basic college chemistry. I realized it was something that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life doing. So I took up my favorite subject, Literature, and took the best course of action relating to it (I had toyed with being a teacher throughout JHS and HS).